Quibi Commercial How to Not Suck at Conventions | Hello America 2025

VIDEO Quibi How to Not Suck at Conventions | Hello America TV commercial 2020 • Nish shares his simple tips for hosting a successful party convention, and speculates whether bad dancing and failed balloon drops directly correlate with election failure. 00:00 You think things couldn't go wrong 00:01 given that this is a crowd of people who already like you 00:04 and are obliged to stay. 00:06 But the history of conferences and conventions 00:08 is full of people squandering that goodwill. 00:10 So, here's the "Hello America" guide 00:12 to "How to Not Shit the Bed at Conventions." 00:14 Number one. Don't screw up your balloon drop. 00:17 It's a well-known fact 00:18 that the entire point of a political convention 00:21 is dropping a fuck load of balloons. 00:22 You come to be lectured by psychopathic liars. 00:25 You stay for the balloon drop. 00:27 And when it doesn't go well, it really doesn't go well. 00:29 All balloons, all balloons should get going! 00:32 Come on, guys, let's move it! Jesus! 00:35 What happened to the balloons? We need more balloons. 00:38 What the fuck are you guys doing up there? 00:41 Fun fact, John Kerry lost that election. 00:44 Was it because of a failed balloon drop? 00:45 Was it because he played that Van Halen song 00:47 at a volume that technically constitutes a hate crime? 00:49 Was it because of a concerted campaign 00:51 to seed doubt about his decorated military service 00:54 even though his opponent was an actual draft dodger? 00:56 We may never know. 00:58 Number two. Don't dance. 01:01 Especially not if you're a politician. 01:03 Unless you've taken the time 01:04 to enter a hallucinatory lesbian relationship with Mila Kunis 01:07 and unleash your inner Black Swan. 01:09 But the chances are you haven't. So don't. 01:11 Maybe stick to what you're good at. 01:12 I don't expect Jason Derulo 01:14 to have a coherent foreign policy strategy, 01:17 and I don't expect you to be good at the slut drop. 01:19 In 2018, our then Prime Minister, Theresa May, did this in Kenya. 01:26 It's bad, but to be fair, 01:28 it's not the worst thing a British ruler has done in Kenya, 01:30 and at least this time, everyone got to keep their stuff. 01:32 The media tore her apart for her sucky dance moves, 01:35 so in response, she cranked up the ABBA 01:37 and walked out at the Conservative party conference like this... 01:46 A year later, she was out of a job. 01:49 Look, there are some things you cannot save 01:52 through the power of dance. 01:53 It's a political career, not a community centre in a 90s teen film. 01:57 And it's not even just the politicians. 01:59 The RNC in 2016 took things to the next level. 02:02 Now, I'm not quite sure how to prepare you for this, 02:05 so I'll just say, "Siri, show me the opposite of Soul Train." 02:12 My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa! 02:17 M-m-m-my Sharona 02:19 That song was "My Sharona." 02:21 That clip was my Vietnam. 02:23 I guess they probably thought, 02:24 "Hey, why wouldn't we be great at cutting a rug? 02:26 We're already so great at cutting food stamps." 02:29 Number three. Don't wank in silhouette. 02:32 Quite specific, this one. 02:39 Jesus! Wait till you get home, DonDon. 02:42 Also, side note, he definitely cranks it to "We Are the Champions." 02:46 Lastly, don't go off topic. 02:48 Take Newt Gingrich here. 02:50 There's a whole new world of opportunity opening up 02:53 that didn't even exist 30 years ago or 40 years ago. 02:56 And no bureaucrat would have invented it. 03:00 And that's what freedom is all about. 03:02 He could be talking about anything-- 03:03 small government, financial deregulation, entrepreneurialism. 03:07 But he's not. He's talking about... 03:09 Beach volleyball. 03:10 Really, Newt? That's what freedom is all about? 03:13 Taking a sport that already exists and just moving it outside? 03:16 Also, leave it to an old white guy to define freedom 03:19 as watching women in bikinis dive into sand. 03:21 And look, even if you do any, or indeed all of these things, 03:25 please, be reassured you won't be having as bad a time as Theresa May did 03:29 at the Conservative Party Conference in 2017, 03:31 the year before she did her stupid fucking dance. 03:34 During May's speech, a comedian invaded the stage 03:37 and made a joke about her getting fired. 03:38 Then she got a cough that stopped her from speaking. 03:42 We remember-- 03:50 So... 03:52 Why--why we will ne-- 03:54 Excuse me. 03:56 And then--because it's not over-- 03:59 the sign behind her fell apart. 04:02 Compassion and strength that was shared around the globe. 04:07 That was shared... 04:12 That is the literal definition of a clusterfuck. 04:15 And I do mean literal, because since then, 04:17 I've gone around sticking that in every dictionary I find. 04:21 Anyway, as long as you follow all these hints, 04:24 your convention will go off with a bang. 04:30 With a b-- 04:32 There was supposed to be a balloon drop there.- advertisement spot 2020