The Worst 'As Seen on TV' Products

Worst 'As Seen on TV' Products

Ah, the “As Seen on TV” aisle - the eccentric museum of promising wonders, where reality seldom delivers on frothy promises made by overly-optimistic hosts. The infamous stamp of "As Seen on TV" has brought us a cascade of products, some wildly successful, others downright ludicrous. Below, we delve into some of the most bewildering gadgets that took the television merchandising world by storm - for all the wrong reasons.

1. The UroClub:
Yes, you read that right. The UroClub is a gadget designed for golfers who have everything - except a nearby restroom. This combination of a golf club and a urine reservoir takes the term “sports utility” to a new, dubious level. It’s designed to allow golfers to discreetly relieve themselves on the course. Really, is the locker room really that far away?

2. The Sauna Suit:
Ever dreamed of sweating profusely while just watching TV or waiting for your laundry to dry? While some sauna suits have valid weight-losing purposes, this one enables wearers to shed pounds by encapsulating them in a personal, mobile sauna. Not only is it an uncomfortable approach to weight loss, but it also conveniently ignores the fact that any weight "lost" through sweating is often regained once you hydrate.

3. Kush Support:
Beauty sleep took a bizarre turn with the Kush Support, a device intended to separate women’s breasts during sleep to prevent wrinkles and maintain perkiness. The garment evoked many questions, but provided few valid answers, leaving users confused rather than convinced. For many, a good night's sleep without a plastic cylinder in their nightwear remains the preferred option.

4. The Comfort Wipe:
A wand designed to hold toilet paper, the Comfort Wipe ensured the user could achieve a clean sweep without the pesky inconvenience of wrist movement. While it was marketed as an ergonomic advance in bathroom hygiene, many consumers raised a skeptical eyebrow at the necessity of complicating a rather straightforward chore.

5. Tiddy Bear:
Undoubtedly coined with a wink and a nudge, the Tiddy Bear is a plush teddy bear designed to cushion the seatbelt against one’s chest, providing comfort during drives. The pun, a chuckling nod to its intended placement near women’s breasts, couldn’t save it from its fate amidst the annals of needless inventions.

6. The Face Trainer
The Face Trainer promised a non-surgical route to a more youthful appearance, effectively a resistance training device for one's visage. It encapsulated the user's face in a bizarre, snug mask and aimed to “train” the facial muscles to resist the sagging gravitational pull. The effectiveness of working out one’s facial muscles remains dubious at best.

7. The Hawaii Chair
This contraption promised to melt away your waistline while you sat, incorporating a gyrating motion meant to simulate hula dancing. Notably, the potential distraction and inconvenience of perpetually undulating while attempting to complete tasks like typing, reading, or merely holding a cup of coffee seemed to have been overlooked in The Hawaii Chair’s development phase.

While these products may not revolutionize our lives in the ways they promise, they do deliver an unexpected gift  — a fascinating reflection on the lengths to which innovation (or perhaps optimistic opportunism) can stretch. It would be interesting to know if any of the inventors went into personal debt launching their dreams into the world

For now, we toast these audacious gadgets for their unexpected entertainment value, eternalizing them in the Hall of Fame for bravest attempts at problem-solving. May our future bring even more fascinatingly peculiar innovations into the spotlight.